on my own again

So all day I sat here and waited for Pete to call, text, show up. Guess I was waiting for nothing. He broke up with me. I knew I shouldn't have let him get close to me again, but foolish me trusted him. After all he put me through I was still willing to give up everything and everyone to be with him. I swear I must be a glutton for punishment. I have never in my whole life been hurt so many times been one single person. I feel foolish and used and I should have known better. When a man uses you for months for sex and then runs when you get pregnant shouldn't that be a warning sign? I swear I will never learn. I'm waiting for the next few days to pass and to hear him say he wants to be back together, but I am going to do my best and stay strong. I will NOT answer his calls. I will NOT answer his texts. If he shows up at the house I just won't go to the door. I have to do this for myself. I know eventually I will have to deal with him since he is the father of my child, but I am going to be selfish and take my dear sweet time. I just am so mad at myself for letting it get this far. If I do cave and take him back I really hope no one will judge me. I can't help the fact that I am so in love with him it hurts and to look at my daughters face and only see her father doesn't help at all. I just wish I had people here to help me. I just feel very alone!