Aiden's music (top 4 of the moment)

I must say... my 2 year old has some interesting taste in music. Here are his top 4 songs of the moment!!

"Bad Romance" - Lady Gaga: Aiden calls this song lala... LOL! He is in LOVE with her. We sat and watched her music videos one day and he didn't move the whole time. I don't know if I should be worried yet or not.

"I Got a Feeling" - The Black Eyed Peas: This song is call the woo hoo song... gotta love the mind of a 2 year old. He absolutely loves it and this is one of the few songs he will dance with me to.

"I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias: This one is refered to as baby I like it. MAN O MAN!!! He knows a lot of the words too. I am horrified. LOL!

"Telephone" - Lady Gaga: The telapone song as Aiden calls it. hehehehe. Like I said before... the kid is in LOVE with Lady Gaga.

This is the sad.... but TRUE list of my 2 year old sons current favorite songs... and we listen to the same 4 over and over and over. WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!

Aiden...

Aiden Bryan is my little man. I can not believe that he is already over 2 years old. I must admit that I am COMPLETELY glad that the pregnancy with him is over... it was horrible, but there are times I miss him being my little baby.

He was born June 15, 2008 weighing 6lbs. 9ozs. and was 19.5ins. long. Now at the age of 2 he is 33lbs and at least 3 feet tall... not sure on his height. I call him my little linebacker. He is getting bigger and bigger everyday and changing into such a big boy instead of my little baby.

When Aiden hit the terrible 2's... he hit them HARD and it didn't help anything that his sister was born almost exactly a month after he turned 2. I don't think he handled losing the only child status... LOL! In some ways I am glad I had a girl the 2nd time around... that way he is my only boy. There are days when I want to tear my hair out and I wish he would actually listen to me, but I ALWAYS love him no matter what. I swear... that child does NOT know his own strength. It is CRAZY! He's probably stronger then me!

Aiden is the SPITTING IMAGE of his daddy... it's INSANE! Justin couldn't deny that child if he wanted to... LOL! Everyday I look at Aiden... he gets more and more handsome. He has eyelashes that are soooo long I know grown woman that are jealous... not even kidding. I'm telling you... he is going to have the girls chasing him around when he gets older... LOL!

I can not believe I am the mother to 2 wonderful kids. My life has changed so much because of them and I wouldn't have it any other way! I have enjoyed watching them change/grow and I am sure I will continue to enjoy it... even if deep down it breaks my heart that they won't always be my little babies!!!

Kenley...

I can't believe how much Kenley has changed in the past 2 and half months. Time seems to be flying with absolutely no way of slowing it down... it's crazy. I feel like just yesterday I was finding out I was pregnant.

At birth Kenley weighed 6lbs. 1oz. and was 19ins. long. Today she is 11lbs. 2ozs. and 24ins. long. She's still a little peanut, but is gaining well and catching up to all the other babies.. lol. It's amazing how heavy she feels all of a sudden. I remember being able to hold her all day and my arms would never get tired. Now, I either have to hold her against my chest, switch arms quite a few times, or prop my arm up when I am holding her.... and carrying her carseat very far, FORGET IT! I'm glad she is growing, but part of me is sad and doesn't want my baby to grow up. I don't know if I will have anymore kids... so I am trying to enjoy the baby stage.

Kenley... to me... still looks a lot like her daddy, but I see more and more of me in her everyday(it's about time). She definately has my attitude and lack of patience... LOL! Everyday that I look at her I still can not believe that I made such a beautiful little girl. I know I am bias(what mother isn't), but I think Kenley is absolutely GORGEOUS! Who knew that combining me and Pete's DNA would be a good thing... haha.

She has finally started to interact with her playmat. When I first laid her on it she just stared at things and then would like at me like what now mom. LOL! She LOVES the bird in the middle that plays music and LOVES staring at herself in the mirror... see even she thinks she is a beauty... LOL! I love listening to her and watching her play with her toys. Sometimes she gets going so fast and her toys are just being flung around it is soooo cute. I love her!!!

very thankful

 I'm sitting here watching Teen Mom and I broke down. Seeing Farrah's daughter Sophia meeting her father's sister for the first time broke my heart. I couldn't imagine my children never knowing their fathers.

A lot has happened in the past between Pete and I. I honestly thought he would never come around and Kenley would never know her dad. I don't know what changed in Pete's mind... he says he doesn't even know... but I really am glad that he did. Seeing him with Kenley brings a smile to my face because seeing a father with his child is a beautiful thing. I know he loves her so much and would do anything in the world for her. He has made sacrafices in his life for her and has worked a job I know he hated so that he could be sure to provide for her. I think he is a wonderful father... whether he believes that or not and now I know I need to tell him that more often. Kenley deserves to have us both in her life. I hate seeing children that don't have both their mother and father... it honestly breaks my heart.

I know Justin and I never had the best relationship... and clearly things didn't work out between the 2 of us, but I thank God daily that Aiden has such a wonderful daddy. He re-enlisted in the Army when I was pregnant to be able to take care of his son. I know he didn't want to, but instead of being selfish... he did what he needed to do. That's a father. We don't always see eye to eye, but we do what we need to both be great parents. He calls Aiden everyday to talk to him and always tells him how much he loves and misses him. Aiden is the spitting image of his daddy too. Justin works very hard to see Aiden as much as he possibly can... he even plans to stay within a few hours of where I live when he gets out of the Army so he can see Aiden as much as he can.

I think men that choose not to be in their kids lives don't deserve to know their children and the kids are better off, but to think kids don't get to meet their dads because of different circumstances breaks my heart. I feel very lucky that both of my children will grow up with their fathers!

life since I last blogged... lol

Just figured I would get on here and give everybody a little update. I know I know... once again... I've been slacking. SMACK ME LATER!!!

Pete quit his job on Friday after he was offered a new job down closer to his mom's house... figures. Now I don't get to see him on the days he works at all. The only nice thing is he works 2 days on, 2 days off, 2 days on, 3 days off. He says on the days he is off he is going to spend his time here, so I guess we shall see. Things are still pretty up and down with us and some days it's getting so hard that I'm ready to throw in the towel, but I am trying. I think so much has happened in the past and I am having the worst time trying to get over it. I hate to have to admit it, but I think we may have to go and talk to someone that's neutral and doesn't know the situation. We could both get EVERYTHING that is bothering us out and not have to keep focusing on it. I really hope we can fix this on our own BEFORE it comes to that, but if not... I am willing to suck up my pride and do what needs to be done so we can BOTH be happy.

This past weekend was Heritage Days. I had a good time and got to see some people that I haven't see in a long time. There were some pretty neat booths this year too. I LOVED the one with all the girly things... tutus, headbands, hats, flowers, bows... I got quite a few things for Kenley... she looks soooo cute. She's already worn a tutu and her cute little hat. I also got her a sign for the door to her room and we got Aiden a some cute things.... mostly cars, go figure. Aiden also got to go on a pony ride... twice... and he LOVED it! Aiden also had a GREAT time at the parade. He got to see horses, tractors, "big trucks", he got candy... he loved it, what 2 year old wouldn't... LOL! Since Pete started his new job, he couldn't be there... it would have been PERFECT if he had. Oh well.....

We got a new kitten on Friday. My mom has ALWAYS wanted a Siamese kitten and she found some in the newspaper. She tried calling all day to be able to go and look at them, but no one ever answered. Finally around 640pm the lady called back and said that she had 1 female kitten left... which is what my mom wanted. We went and looked at her and she was adorable so we decided to get her. The ad said the kittens were $150 or best offer. Mom ended up paying $125. We wanted to let Aiden name her and orginally he said he wanted to name her Kitty PooPoo... hahaha... that was a total NO GO! He ended up picking the name Elmo for her... even though we tried numerous times to get him to say a different name. Elmo isn't too bad, so I guess it could have been worse. Aiden still hasn't figured out that she is smaller then him and that you can't carry her by her leg or neck, but he is getting better. He thinks he is being a good boy so it's really hard to get mad at him.

Moby Wrap and Blisters

So... I've been really wanting to get a Moby Wrap for a while now, but couldn't spare the extra money to go and get one. I found a Snugli on sale at Target for just over $6, so we got that and have been using it. Pete loves it... I HATE it. I think it's because of my body shape and the fact that when I wear it... it just feels funny. Well today we went up to Babies R Us to try and find parts to my breast pump... FAIL. Well we were walking around and happened to walk past the carriers and Pete stopped and picked up the Moby box. He asked if this is what I have been wanting and I said yes and turned to keep walking. He said, well do you want to get it? UH HELLO... OF COURSE I DO!!! I figured he was going to say we would have to come back or something... but NO... he handed it to me and said I deserved it. YAY!!! Don't know why he was sucking up (think it's because he got a new job and won't see us almost everyday like he has been), but I'll take it. So far the Moby is soooo much easier then I thought it would be. It's so comfortable and Kenley seems to like it too.... YAY! My mom looked totally confused when I asked her to help me out the first time.. LOL, but she got the hang of it with me.

Speaking of my breast pump... I woke up this morning with 2 lumps on my left nipple. At first I thought I had clogged ducts, but then I realized they were on the nipple... not the breast. Well yesterday when I pumped I noticed a little blood, but I thought I had some cracks or something and thats what caused them. OH NO!!! I was kind of freaking so I called the lactation consultant before I made a doctors appointment. She said it sounded like a blister, which are normally caused by improper latch or improper fitting pump... GO FIGURE. They hurt SOOOO bad. She said to massage the area and use heat, but don't be too rough with them and in time they will go away. BLAH!!!! They thought of feeding Kenley on that side is enough to make me want to throw up. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let it go away soon!!!

one of those days!!!

Today has been just one of those days. Nothing wanted to go right at all. First, Kenley woke up almost every 2 hours all night/morning and I was exhausted.... and of course... everytime she woke up she wanted to eat. Obviously, since I am breastfeeding I had to get up every single time. I was wore out by morning. Next, Pete just seemed to ignore me all damn morning. We don't get a lot of time together since he works from 230pm- whatever time they get done.... it varies day to day. I feel like he doesn't want to spend time with us, but does so that he doesn't have to listen to me complain. I think we need to have a talk. Next, I think Kenley is starting to get sick again. She's feeling really warm(not running a fever yet), is congested, and just over all MISERABLE! She doesn't want to be put down at all(I finally got her down after I let her fall into DEEP SLEEP on my chest, which I HATE doing). If she's not getting sick then I don't know what is going on. OF COURSE... all this had to start on a day when Pete wasn't coming over after work. Next, I miss my Aiden. It's only 2 more days until he gets home and with everything else going on it's been nice not to have the added stress maker(hehe), but he is my baby and the house seems too quiet without him. I know I'll probably take all this back when he is yelling, kicking the dog, throwing food, fighting me on sleep, etc... but right now I want him home... lol! Next, my ex husband is drinking and decides to make me his drunken phone call... SHOOT ME!!! We can hardly talk for 5 minutes without one of us yelling, and we really have NOTHING to talk about... but when he gets drunk he decides it's a good time to call and profess his undying love for me. Maybe if you had "loved" me like this when we were married and NOT cheated on me... we'd still be together. DUMBASS!!! I probably should shut up, get off the computer and get some sleep while Kenley is asleep, but go figure... now that she is out and I can sleep... I'M WIDE AWAKE!!! Like I said... it's been ONE OF THOSE DAYS!!!

Dancing With the Stars

I don't care what anyone says... I LOVE this show. Here is what I think of this season's "celebrity" cast:

Audrina Patridge- I have to say I was pleasently surprised... she can actually dance pretty well, but she still drives me nuts. I don't know what it is, but when she smiles... her teeth annoy me. LOL! I have to say though... physically she looks like a professional dancer... she has some ABS!!! She did well being the first one to dance. I would have peed my pants if that was me! One thing though... being a reality star does NOT make you a star in my eyes... but what do I know!

Kurt Warner- I am not a HUGE fan of sports so I can not lie.... before I saw him on the show... I had NO IDEA who he was. LOL! Pete thought I was kidding when I told him that... MY BAD! Anyways... he isn't a bad dancer. He didn't really do anything special to make him stand out, but he was ok. Unlike Audrina... if he is the sports "legend" people say he is then I think he deserves to be on the show!

Kyle Massey- I LOVE HIM!!! He is awesome. He is young, but boy is he one HELL of an entertainer. Even ALL the judges loved him. It was great. I remember him from The Disney Channel, but he doesn't look the same. I kind of hope he goes really far on the show because he is actually a good dancer and I think he is ADORABLE!!!

Rick Fox- I have to admit... I had NO idea he played basketball. I thought he was famous for being married to Vanessa Williams. HAHAHA... oops. That was another one that Pete made fun of me about. OMG is he TALL! I don't see how Cheryl Burke dances with him without her arms falling off. For his height he isn't too bad though. He's one I could care less if he left the show or stayed. OH and I had NO IDEA he was dating Eliza Dushku(sp?) until she stook up and starting rooting for him after he danced I googled it. =]

Margaret Cho- LOVE HER LOVE HER LOVE HER!!! I don't give a damn if she can dance... I think she is HILARIOUS. PLUS... the woman is covered in tattoos... I am DEFINATELY rooting for her. The judges didn't like that she added comedy to such a STUFFY dance, but I LOVED it!!! It put a little bit of her into it.  I hope she doesn't leave tonight!!!

Brandy- She was another one that first of all I think deserved to be on the show and second could actually dance. I mean she has to have a little bit of dance experience being a singer, but I guess that doesn't always mean anything. She's also lucky and got one of the hottest partners. It's kind of nice to see Brandy back... I haven't seen much of her in the last few years!

Bristol Palin- I don't think she has ANY right to be on the show. She is not a star in any way shape or form (in my opinion). She was the daughter of a Vice President canidate and she had a child as a teenager... how does that make you a star? PLUS I don't think she was a very good dancer, even though the judges seemed to like her. I guess it's only week 1... she might get better.

Florence Henderson- Man does Carol Brady cuss a lot... HAHAHA! For being 76 years old... I think she was great. She has some killer legs too. Hope my legs look that good when I am her age. LOL! She's another one that I think 100% deserves to be on the show, but she's also another one that I could care less if she stays or goes.

Michael Bolton- I kind of feel like he is only on this show because he is trying to get publicity for the tour he is also on. It seems like he could care less if he stays on the show. Maybe I am wrong and that's just how he carries himself, but I am entitled to my opinion... LOL! Plus, I think he kind of looks funny and I'm not sure why. He can sing though... not that it has anything to do with being on this show! lol

Mike "The Situation" Sorentino- I LOVE him on Jersey Shore... even if he's a douche, but the man CAN NOT dance. I think he tried to blame it on the fact that he had less days to practice, but its no one's fault but his own. I think he is another one that's not a STAR... but he's fun to watch nonetheless!

Jennifer Grey- She doesn't look like the "Baby" I remember from Dirty Dancing, but she still has the moves. I LOVE her. I can see why she was cast in Dirty Dancing in the first place, she is great. I am sure someone will come out and say it's not fair that she is on this show since she CLEARLY had ballroom dance experience, but I don't care. She's one I hope makes it to the end.

David Hasselhoff- I don't like him AT ALL!!! He's an idiot. Yes he is probably one of the few that actually is a "star" and deserves to be on the show, but his face and the sound of his voice drive me NUTS!!! UGH... please send him home!

On a totally seperate note.. Brooke Burkes boobs are CRAZY!! They don't move!! And the saddest part of all of it...I NOTICED! hehe

LoVe

"We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved."

This quotes sums up EXACTLY how I feel. I think I will ALWAYS have these fears. I have been hurt sooo many times, by so many people and I just don't want to go through it all again. I know I shouldn't push people away because I am scared... but sometimes I have it in my head that if I push people away FIRST... they can't hurt me. If I keep that up I will ALWAYS be alone. I started a fight with Pete last night... and I will admit... I STARTED IT! I wasn't WANTING to fight with him, but when he wouldn't listen I started getting more and more angry and evetually exploded. I just was trying to be honest with him (no I will NOT go into detail right now) and I felt like it BLEW UP in my face. I thought things were find this morning and then he treats me like crap again. He just doesn't seem to get it. He says I blame things on hormones, but its TRUE. He thinks that once I had Kenley, all the hormones went away. NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!! There are days that I feel my hormones are worse NOW then they were while I was pregnant.

Pete says he loves me and I want to believe him, but it's hard. Here's the story. I met him in Septemeber 2009 and I thought things were great. I thought we had a good relationship. I told him I loved him and he said it back to me. Well right before I found out I was pregnant with Kenley, he admitted he never really wanted to be in a relationship with me, he had been using me to get what he wanted. What a slap in the face. When I told him I was pregnant with Kenley he said he wanted to make things work. Well 1 week later he stopped talking to me and only spoke to me a few times during my ENTIRE pregnancy. He didn't come back around until after she was born. So can anyone really blame me for being afraid that he is just telling me what I want to hear AGAIN to get what he wants? I love him... I really do and I want us to be together. I'm just not sure how to make the fears go away... WITHOUT giving up on our relationship. Pete keeps telling me he is different, and he is... but is he different enough to make me feel like I can trust him fully? =[

IM SUPER EXCITED!!!

I absolutely LOVE to read and have to say my favorite author (or at least one of them) is Nicholas Sparks. So I can't even BEGIN to tell you how excited I was when I saw he had a new book out at Wal Mart. I literally RAN over to it and grabbed it off the shelf. Pete HAD to have thought I had lost my mind. I just told him I needed it... LOL! GO FIGURE... he had forgotten his wallet at home, but promised me after we finished helping my mom we would go get me the book. I am happy to report that he KEPT his promise. YAY YAY YAY! I love all of his books and 9 times out of 10 they make me cry, but that's just fine. I am surprised I haven't already ripped it open and started reading. I think the only thing stopping me is Pete is watching college football and he is sooooo loud. LOL! Once everyone is in bed... if I'm not too tired myself.. I'll pull my book light out and start to read. It's been a while since I have enjoyed a good book, so I am hoping this one is as good as the rest of his books. I think I just have a hard time getting enough time to myself to relax and read a book. I think I might have to make Pete keep an eye on Kenley while I take a nice bath anfd read. HMMMM.... I might have to get on that one... like NOW!

Under the Sea....

1. Do you like seafood?
I like some. I absolutely LOVE popcorn shrimp. I swear I get horrible cravings for it sometimes!!! NUMNUMNUM!!!


2. Are mermaids hot?
uh.... maybe if they were real. I dont know though. A gorgeous man with a fish body would be cool to see, but a little strange at the same time. =|

3. Have you swam in the ocean?
I have... I have even swam where the movie Jaws was filmed. That actually scared the CRAP out of me. I know it was fake, but it was scary nonetheless. I'm not a big fan of the ocean though.... I don't know how to swim as it is and the ocean is a LARGE body of water!!!

4. If you got stung by a jellyfish, would you let a stranger pee on you?
NOOOO!!! I had a friend get stung by one and they DID have someone pee on them and it didn't work. It may be different for me, but the whole thought of somone peeing on me grosses me out.

5. Have you ever pee'd in the ocean?
GUILTY!

6. Can you make a cute fish face? (Show a pic..if you want)
Not as cute as Kenley's fishy face!

7. When you see the lobster tank at the grocery store do you just have this overwhelming urge to set them free or cook them up?
None of the grocery stores around where I live have lobster tanks. They do have one at Red Lobster though and I always feel bad for them. Maybe that's why when I go to places like that I can NOT eat lobster!

8. Are you afraid of sharks?
I am. After seeing Jaws for the first time it made it worse. I was even afraid to swim in the pool! =]

ALMOST THE WEEKEND!

It's finally Friday and thank GOD for that.

Poor Buggie was up and down all night crying. It was horrible. I don't know if it was because of her shots or not, but she was just plain miserable. Not much that I tried to do to comfort her really helped and I was ready to jump out a window. She is better this morning, but still wimpers when I move her legs to much. I HATE getting shots for my kids, but I know it's for the best(in my opinion) and I'll do what I have to do. The good thing was Kenley didn't end up with a fever or anything after the shots. That would have been just one more thing to add to the mess. Pete will be here tonight, so I am HOPING tonight will not be a repeat of last night and if it is... at least me and Pete can take turns getting up with her. He's off this weekend, he can be helpful!

Aiden leaves for his daddy's this afternoon for a week. He needs some time with his daddy and I have to help my mom move things out of my grandpas house(he's now in a nursing home). Trying to do anything with Aiden running around is a lot more work then it needs to be. His new thing is running into the road... no matter how much we tell him not too. It's getting bad. I am SOOO afraid one of these times a car with come and take him out. I'm hoping Justin can make him stop because Aiden will NOT listen to me at all. When he hit the terrible twos.. he hit them hard and he has been quite the handful. Like right now... he is sitting on the floor, staring at me, and just screaming on the top of his lungs for no reason. OH JOY!!! Justin is usually the firmer one when it comes to discipline... so I am REALLY hoping he can get Aiden out of this FUNK he is in. I love my son, but that boy is driving me INSANE!!!

I think one of the sides to my breast pump has a leak in it. When I use it I can hear some air leaking out and can't pump a whole lot out... it's really frustrating. Well I found the other side today and I dont hear any air leaking out, so I dont think it's the tubing. I went up to Babies R Us the other day, but they didn't sell the extra parts for my pump... GO FIGURE... so now I have to look online. Normally I can get 3-5oz from EACH side and the last few days I have been able to get a total of about 3oz combined. UGH! I am SERIOUSLY running low on my stash in the freezer, like 4 bags left, so I NEED to start getting my stash back up. I am trying to find a job and don't want to get an offer and not be able to take it because I have no breast milk stored. THAT WOULD SUCK!

Well that's all I have for now. I might write again this afternoon if I have anything I deem NECESSARY to share with you all =]

Kenley's 2 month well baby checkup.

Kenley had her 2 month well baby check today. It all went well I think. She is now 10lbs exactly and 23.5in long. She is only in the 40th percentile for her weight, but she is continuing to gain well, so the doctor says she will catch up in no time. =] She has something call tracheomalacia which is basically the flap of skin over the trachea isn't fully matured and collapses when air goes through and causes a weezing/whistling noise. Nothing to worry about and something she will surely grow out of. YAY! Then came the shots. I could have died. She took the first shot like a champ... let out a little wimper, but wasn't overly bothered. Then came the second shot and she screamed bloody murder. By shot three I was in tears... I think I was crying harder then she was... lol. Thank GOD Pete was there, I don't think I could have done it. Once Pete picked Kenley up and cuddled her, she calmed down... but I just felt HORRIBLE! She seems fine now, maybe sleepy... but not to different from her normal self. Let's see how tonight/tomorrow go. All in all I have a healthy baby girl and that makes me one happy mommy!!!

wish someone had told ME before I became a mom....

Before motherhood, I wish someone had told me to:




1. Enjoy sleep. Nap. It’s a luxury that becomes a necessity you never seem to have enough of. Buy nice sheets. Roll around in them. Spend a whole day in bed. The next time you do it, you’ll be comforting a feverish, puking child and that’s not nearly as enjoyable.



2. Appreciate your body now. As flawed as it may be, after children it will be worse. Droopier, stretched out and mushy.


3. Drive a fun car. A convertible or a Beetle. I had a CONVERTIBLE BEETLE and now it's sitting pretty at the dealership. I haven't upgraded to the "mom van yet" though, so I'm doing good!



4. Travel with your significant other. Family vacations are wonderful, but not the same. And finding someone to watch the kids? NO BUENO!



5. Eat out at really nice places. Indulge in a five course meal. Chew your food. Savor it. Soon you’ll be dining at chain restaurants scarfing down left over grilled cheese. If you’re lucky enough to get to a nice restaurant once you have kids, you’ll be paying the equivalent of an extra meal in babysitting fees. Linger.



6. Do things spur of the moment. Jet off somewhere at the last minute, with nothing but the clothes on your back. Have an impromptu adventure. Once you have kids you’ll need to plan everything.



7. Call in sick to work and use the day for yourself. Moms never get the day off, and you’ll make up for that sick day ten fold by caring for sick children when you are indeed yourself, sick.



8. Spend money on yourself. Invest in some really great forever items, because once you have kids the trade off will not seem worth it. You’ll calculate the number of diapers you could buy for the cost of those designer sunglasses. Buy them now and wear them later.



9. Pee with the door shut. It will be years before you get to do that again.



10. Under-appreciate your parents. Roll your eyes at them. Question their actions and judgment. Tell them they don’t know everything. Once you have kids you’ll have a new-found appreciation for them, and discover that they know a lot more than you gave them credit for. Ignorance is bliss.

feel like I've neglected my blog!!!

I just wrote a post on Friday, but I feel like I have been going to long without updating my blog. I am going to do my best from now on to keep up with it, but with 2 kiddos... its easier said then done.

My little girl is changing so much and getting so big. Where is the time running off to? She is smiling more, playing more, "talking" to us more... she's getting to the age where is interacts and I am having so much fun with her. Saturday was a HORRIBLE day for her. All she wanted to do was scream... all day... unless she was being held and rocked. It was horrible. Thank GOD Pete was here or I might have lost my mind here alone. It only lasted the one day and she was back to her beautiful, smiley self the next morning. I think my poor baby was having a hard time going potty and it was hurting her. Broke my heart. Thursday is Kenley's 2 month well baby checkup. I have mixed emotions about it. I am excited to see how much she has grown and how she is doing, but I HATE the fact that she has to get shots. I feel horrible standing there while someone sticks needles into my little babies legs. BOOO!!! Hopefully they won't take forever and they'll get the shots done before Pete has to leave for work. I just hope everything with her is going/growing(lol) like it's supposed to and that I get a PERFECT report back from her doctor. I haven't noticed anything not going well, so I'm not too worried!!! =]

Aiden is still being himself... nothing has changed there. I swear, when he hit the terrible 2's... he hit them with enough force to knock over an elephant. He is just plain ROTTEN! He doesn't listen very well and gets into EVERYTHING. I am doing the best I can, but with Kenley AND Aiden I get overwhelmed quite a bit when I am here alone. I swear... Aiden always decides to act up when I am in the middle of nursing his sister. LOL! He can be in the other room and it's like he just senses it... LOL! He still has his moments when he is sweet.... usually in the mornings. He LOVES to check on his sister and sing her Twinkle Twinkle. He HATES when she cries and makes sure someone helps her when she does. He will cuddle up to me every once in a while too... which is one of the things I miss the most about when he was a baby. I can't belive my little man is already over 2 years old. I remember back when I thought he was never going to walk or talk or HECK even CRAWL... and now he is doing it all!!!

Things with Pete are going good as well. Are biggest problem is we just don't talk to each other. I talk to him more then he talks to me and it gets REALLY frustrating. He says I am hard to talk to and I'm sure I am, but if he wants this to work... he has to open up to me. He has been getting better at it and he is LIGHT YEARS from where he was, but I just hope it continues to get better, so things don't just go back to the way they were. I just can't believe I have known him for over a year and we are just now REALLY getting to know each other. NO, we did't do things the "correct" way. Kenley wasn't planned and we had only known each other a few months, but we are working are butts off to make it better now... so NOBODY has the right to judge us. There is still a TON that we need to work on, but it will take time and I have plenty of it, so I'm taking my time.

I am FINALLY getting back to feeling like myself. Yes, I still have the "pooch" in the front of my belly, but I am only 9lbs from my pre-prego wait. It bothered me for a while that I couldn't fit back into my pre-prego jeans, but I finally just realized that it may NEVER happen and I think I am FINALLY ok with that. My sister gave me some jeans that I feel GREAT in, so now I just need to go and get me some shirts that will make me feel the same way. I have been STILL wearing a lot of my maternity shirts, since I am breastfeeding and my "girls" are INSANE!!! LOL! I think the main reason I haven't felt like myself is because of the breastfeeding. It's hard for your body to feel like your OWN when it's being used to feed someone else. I am so glad that breastfeeding has gone as great as it has and I have had no problems feeding Kenley, but it's hard to feel like yourself while doing it. Maybe that's just my feelings on it, but that's just how I feel. I hope I continue to feel this way about myself and I don't start looking down on myself again. Pete has been helping me feel good too, so it's been really nice.

Sorry this has been so long, just wanted to give an update on pretty much EVERYTHING in my life... ENJOY and I'll hopefully "talk" to you all soon!!!

trying to stay optimistic...

     So things with me and Pete have been REALLY up and down this week. I accused him of things, he got mad, and it all went downhill from there. Today has been much better and I am PRAYING that they continue. He's spending the ENTIRE weekend with us, with NOTHING planned but laying around and watching football and OF COURSE the Trueblood finale on Sunday. We haven't had days like this since before he started working and I've missed it. I really don't want to lose him, but if things start getting bad again... I dont think I can take it anymore. I'm doing my best not to worry about things getting bad and simply focus on the fact that its getting better. I hope he really does feel the way he says he does. I just hope he's not like some guys from my past and saying what he knows I want to hear.
     On a happy note... my BEAUTIFUL baby girl is 2 months old today. OMG... how did that happen? I feel like yesterday I was pregnant. Why is it you are pregnant for 9 LONG months and they drag on and on... but then you have the baby and time flies? I dont know about everyone else, but I wish it happened the other way around!!!! I DONT WANT HER TO GROW UP!!!

TOO much on my mind... must think HAPPY thoughts....

1. What kind of athlete has the hottest body?
I think a lot of athletes have hot bods. They clearly have to be in good shape and work out, so I dont know how to choose one. I will say I like to look at football players butts in their tight pants... =]




2. Are you a planner or a procrastinator?
HUGGGGGGGGE procrastinator. I need to cut it out, but I just can't help it. Besides... when I do try and plan things everything always seems to fall through and I end up mad.



3. Diet or regular (soda)?
REGULAR. Diet soda always ends up tasting EXTREMELY flat to me.



4. What's your one "must have" for Fall?
Cute flats. It's not quite cold enough for my boots(which I must admit I am STOKED to pull out), but too cold for flip flops. I am quite picky about my shoes. Besides... my zebra flats are the BEST!



5. What's your favorite fast food restaurant?
It's got to be Wendy's. I am in LOVE with their baked taters and nuggets. GREAT... now I'm hungry ;]



6. What do you think is the sexiest profession for a guy?
Policeman... I LOVE a man in uniform and he carries handcuffs... HELLO!



7. Did you wear braces?
I did... and it WASN'T pretty!!!



8. Would you rather have a guy that's super sexy or kind?
Can I have both? If I HAVE to choose... hmmmm... I'll go with kind. If you look good, but treat me like shit... it's not even worth looking at you because everytime you speak I'll want to damage that pretty face =]

QUESTIONS!!!

1. If you accidental nick a car in a parking lot..Do you leave a note or do you get the heck out of there?
I would leave a note. I know how angry I would be if my car got hit and no one fessed up to it and me or my insurance had to pay for it. I just think if you did something wrong... you need to be an adult and fess up to it.




2. Love your body or plastic surgery?
I HATE my boobs. Once I am done breastfeeding I would love a breast augmentation. They have always been large, but after 2 kids... they are headed south and I am only 23 so that is NOT ok. I don't want any "plastic" in them... just smaller and lifted and I would be a happy woman!



3. What about your favorite blog(s) continues to drive you back?
I love reading about peoples lives and how different/the same they are from mine. When someone is going through the same things it makes me feel better about things and not so alone!



4. What percent of your blog is BS just to make your life seem more interesting than it really is?
NONE!!! Everything I say is the 100% TRUTH. I don't need to impress ANYONE!



5. If you had to give up one type of meat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Deer meat... I don't get to eat it very often anyways.



6. How often to you eat out?
TOOOO much. Even if it's just McDonalds. I have been so busy lately that I am hardly home and I can't make a 2 year old wait until we get home. Not proud of it, but gotta do whatcha gotta do!



7. Skinny jeans or boot cut jeans?
SKINNY JEANS!!! I LOVE them. Pete thinks they look dumb, but he can KISS MY ASS!!! I will NOT change how I like to dress for him. I don't like everything he wears, but I dont say anything. If you don't like my clothes... give me money to buy new ones!



8. If you caught your spouse cheating would you forgive, divorce, or plan your kill?
DIVORCE!!! I don't mess with cheaters. If you claim to "love" me, but go behind my back and sleep with someone else... you clearly don't care as much as you say you do!

what a GREAT start to my weekend!!!

This weekend has started off GREAT. Got up this morning and went shopping for the Buggie. Then we came home and basically relaxed all weekend and watched Notre Dame DOMINATE Purdue. Then Pete took me on the first REAL date we have ever went on... dinner and a movie. It was soooo nice. I'm really hoping the rest of my weekend goes as great as today did. Aiden comes home tomorrow... then we have a family reunion... might be ok. Then Monday Pete is off work, so me and the kiddies get him home with us ALLLLLL day with NO agenda. SOOOOO NICE!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Only crappy thing about this weekend... NO TRUEBLOOD!!! BLAH!

My cravings on September 2, 2010

AND NO... I don't want these together... they just ALLLL sound so good. I have a baked potato with butter for lunch, BUT now I want one with bacon and cheese. BOOOO!!! I don't want to go to the store though... SUFFERING it is!

maybe I'm TOO sensitive....

Since I had Kenley I have still been rocking the maternity clothes. My pre-prego clothes(well mostly pants) are still too small and maternity clothes are starting to fall off. I would LOVE to go buy myself new clothes, but I just can't afford it. Mary came up to visit and brought me some jeans that she had worn after having Keagan and they are a size 8-10. They fit. Part of me felt great because I haven't worn "normal" clothes in FOREVER, but part of me is upset because I am having to wear jeans TWICE the size I use to be. I know it may be temporary, but it's still a downer. Of course... I vent to Pete and he thinks it's funny. He is CONSTANTLY poking little jokes at me. I don't think he is trying to hurt my feelings, but it does. When I tell him it does he picks on me MORE and says I'm making a big deal out of nothing and being dramatic. Well we got into a fight today and I basically called it quits. I don't need anyone making me feel bad about myself. I am doing the best I can with the small amount of time I have. He told me he was sorry and he doesn't mean to upset me... if something hurts my feelings I need to tell him that. I DO... and he makes fun of me WORSE. Why would I want to be insulted TWICE when it only has to be ONCE if I keep my mouth shut? Of course this all went down right before he had to leave for work, so I don't know where we stand. Now I'm upset and worried that he's going to stay away and thats not what I want. I just want him to see that he is being hurtful... it might have been 8 weeks ago, but I still JUST had a baby... GIVE ME TIME!!!