hello 3 am....

I can't believe I am still awake. Kenley is sleeping away and here I sit not being able to get the stupid shit off my mind. I knew that this was going to eat away with it. No matter how hard I try all I can think about is Pete. I won't lie... I miss him like crazy. I miss having him next to me, kissing me, talking to me, playing with Kenley.... all of it. I'm sure over time the memories will fade, but I'm not sure I want them to. I am so in love with him and I feel like he doesn't even care. How did it take 6 months to realize you weren't ready for a relationship? Was I being used this whole time? I just don't know what to think. Worst part of all is he won't even talk to me. He is completely ignoring me. I just don't understand and I'm not sure I will ever get the answers I need. How do you get closure if you have all these un-answered questions? I know I need to give it time and see what happens, but I just can't shut my brain off!